I seem to be a target for homeless hecklers. Not sure what it is about me but something screams “charitable” or maybe that’s “gullible”. Regardless, it’s become kind of a joke amongst my friends how often I am approached. The usual hecklers are easy to deal with but I seem to be encountering a more creative homeless crowd as of late and I often find myself unsure how to respond. As with many social situations, I always come up with the best responses after the situation has passed. Here are a few notable examples and how I should have responded if I was at the top of my game:
“Yet I also want a world in which, in Lisa Jackson’s words, “to be a strong woman, you don’t have to give up on the things that define you as a woman.” That means respecting, enabling, and indeed celebrating the full range of women’s choices. “Empowering yourself,” Jackson said in her speech at Princeton, “doesn’t have to mean rejecting motherhood, or eliminating the nurturing or feminine aspects of who you are.”—
Sometimes when I’m at the store trying on makeup I like to pretend I’m Rainbow fish or maybe even a mermaid. The shimmer of the eye shadow on my hand looks like shiny scales glistening in the fluorescent light underwater oasis of my mermaid kingdom. Growing up, The Little Mermaid was always one of my favorite stories not only because she was a red head too (seriously guys, my hair is auburn when I don’t have a vitamin D deficiency from lack of sun), but because she always wanted to be on an adventure! I think we have a lot in common: a little bit daring, a little bit foolish, but mostly just in love with the world around her. Today I fell in love with a strawberry lip gloss and a baby pink eye shadow. Expect to see both in photos of my next adventure.
“It is very easy to make sure a child does not love science.
For that, any number of things will do: parents who don’t encourage their children to be curious or teachers who aren’t prepared to teach it. The best way to turn a kid off to science forever is to make her sit through endless lectures, forcing her to memorize fact, dates, numbers, and equations. That would squeeze the love out of anyone, replacing it with ennui at best and an active dislike at worst.”—
“Liston operated so fast that he once accidentally amputated an assistant’s fingers along with a patient’s leg, according to Hollingham. The patient and the assistant both died of sepsis, and a spectator reportedly died of shock, resulting in the only known procedure with a 300% mortality.”—Gawande’s Two Hundred Years of Surgery in NEJM
4. Run away to Paris. Gaze at the pink and pistachio glow of macarons in the window on Boulevard Saint-Germain. Listen to Joni Mitchell. Meet an Argentinean man in the Latin Quarter for drinks. Melt into his accent and kiss him goodnight, but return to your apartment alone because his face doesn’t look enough like the man’s you are trying to forget. Get lost in the Richelieu Wing of the Louvre, admiring Napoleon’s fine red damask. Walk alone along the Seine in an old dress, ten-dollar shoes, and an Hermes scarf. Fumble with the locks on the fence overlooking the river. They all have lovers’ names etched into them and the girl who left the red heart-shaped lock has the same name as you.