Sometimes it just feels like the world wants something great for you. Like it wants you to be happy. Today is one of those days. Today is that day because the world is telling me to move to Paris for the month of August. And by world I mean HR.
It all started as just a germ of an idea – as most ideas do – and catapulted into something I feel like has always been a part of me but didn’t really know how to speak up. I checked with my company, I campaigned to my boss, and at the end of the day they said yes! I’m honestly quite terrified about doing this. I’m scared that I’m going to spend all of the money I’ve saved over the past year and I’m scared I might even run out of that. I’m scared that I don’t know anyone in Paris and that I might go there to find an inhospitable city, so unlike what I fell in love with 3 years ago. I’m scared I might come back to find that they’ve replaced me at work, and all the ass-kicking I did over the past two years will be for nothing because they will have found a new go-to girl.
But mostly I’m scared that if I don’t quiet these fears in my head I will lose sight of the person that I want to be. I’ll put these hopes away for another weekend, another year, another life and I’ll drift further and further from the person I know I am. There is nothing more terrifying than the prospect of waking up one day as a disappointment to myself. I am not my job or my apartment, or the number in my savings account; I am a person with dreams and hopes and fears, and a person willing to take a giant leap of faith so that I can live the life I’ve always wanted. Because sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump. And it looks like I’m about to do just that.